Just Ask Dan - Advice Column

Who are you?

I am Dan.

What makes you qualified to give advice?

I have been giving advice for well over two decades and I have yet to be killed by someone to whom I gave advice.

Have you ever been injured because of your advice?

I have a scar on my left forearm that reminds me to take giving advice seriously. Outside of that incident, I have emerged relatively unscathed.

When you say you have emerged relatively unscathed, what is this in relation to?

Being torn into itsy-bitsy pieces and eaten alive.

How do you pronounce potato?

I pronounce it with a long A, and I think those pronouncing it with a short A are engaging in deliberate separatism and should be denounced as insurgents to the English language.